Inspired by - Laatinni
As with all relationships, there are always complications. Which adds flavor to the relationship.
As long as both parties understand the complications and how they impact their own personal life, if they enjoy their friend there is no reason not to have sexual tension as part of the relationship.
It's like a hetero man having a gay male friend. There may be one-way sexual tension, but if both understand the limits of their relationship, then both can enjoy a diverse friendship and gain new perspectives they had not thought of before.
Even if the gay friend steps into the zone of the hetero males personal space too far, the friendship can survive because they both know they care for each other for other reasons.
Having an expectation that another person is going to fit exactly into your "friend mold" is unrealistic, and self limiting. A person will spend much of their time alone if they think a Friend has to fit into their personal notion of perfect.
I have some friends that I wouldn't think of lending money to.
The same goes for men and women. As long as both people value being together for other reasons than sexual exploration and sexual gratification, then they can of course be friends.
You notice this most often between married couples. However, many men and women share close relationships even when there is sexual tension. Brothers and sisters at times venture into this uncomfortable zone as teenagers. Yet they have lifelong emotional bonds a sexual tension is easily incorporated in their relationship; often a strong punch by the sister into the arm of the brother followed by a knowing smile, and something like "you pervert" being said.
Sexual tension is just an indicator of appreciation for the body chemistry that exists to one degree or another between all of us. A close inside view of our instinctual side that our parents birthed into us. Sexual attraction is both normal, and healthy. We must cultivate our minds to understand how to incorporate limits to avoid undesireable consequences.
We must realize that at times we might have a friend with undiagnosed ADD/ADHD and that they are incapable of making good decisions related to consequences. They live in the now and are willing to suffer any consequence of the future, and as such feel little if any responsibility related to the consequences; because they CAN NOT anticipate consequences. Their minds are incapable of thinking in that way. So you as a Friend, must think for them and take actions to protect yourself and that avoid undesireable consequences.
Would your friend who is showing sexual attraction to you, be able to be the responsible father of a baby born by him/her?
Are you emotionally configured so that sexual experiences with your friend won't leave you scarred emotionally when he/she tells you he/she loves you as a friend, and not as a mate? That sex was just to fulfill immediate sexual gratification?
I believe if two people are responsible regarding disease and birth control, and they have been "active" friends for at least a year and they enjoy each other in many other ways, then they can provide the sexual outlet that they need with each other. But they must continually remind each other that they are still looking for another person as a mate and that their love for each other is as friends. And every effort should be made by each party to be honest with themselves, self-deceit is still a lie.
Men and women should never get married because of sexual opportunity, nor use sex as a tool to attract a mate. For many men and women, sex is a tool to play with and there is little emotional connection. Make sure your "Friend with Priveledges" is, or is not, in that category as may benefit your friendship.
Back to the point, Yes, Men and Women can be Friends. But each of you must independently understand each other and actively control the consequences. No excuse for undesireable consequences is valid.
Hopefully, the man or woman you spend the rest of your life with will also be your friend.
